Lord of the Rings Pez Set
Awesome, right? It's got all your favourite Ring characters! (Unless that character is a lady. Whoops.) I looove how the Hobbit dispensers are shorter than the others. Because Hobbits, obviously! Get yours today!
Showing posts with label This is a real thing in the world.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label This is a real thing in the world.. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
This is a real thing in the world.
Speaking of Pez dispensers, check this out, Ringians!
Lord of the Rings Pez Set
Awesome, right? It's got all your favourite Ring characters! (Unless that character is a lady. Whoops.) I looove how the Hobbit dispensers are shorter than the others. Because Hobbits, obviously! Get yours today!
Lord of the Rings Pez Set
Awesome, right? It's got all your favourite Ring characters! (Unless that character is a lady. Whoops.) I looove how the Hobbit dispensers are shorter than the others. Because Hobbits, obviously! Get yours today!
Friday, December 2, 2011
This Is (Soon To Be) a Real Thing in the Real World
MMMHop: A Hanson-brand beer based on their 1997 earworm "MMMBop," scheduled to hit store shelves near you early next year.Zac announced the product during a talk at Oxford Union, where he also explained why there were so few Hanson products on the market: "What is vital is that Hanson merchandise is quality and not made solely with the purpose of profit. We have a board game and even a record player to play our last record on, but we will never make dolls, lunch boxes or toothbrushes that play our songs for example…It's vital our fans have trust in everything Hanson do."Cute!
I'm not much of a fan of beer myself, so I'm holding out for the Irene Cara-brand "What a Riesling!"
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
This is a real thing in the world.
Baconlube™, which bills itself as "the world's first bacon-flavored personal lubricant and massage oil." $11.99 a bottle or $59.99 for six. It's probably less messy than repurposing your bacon grease.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
This is a real thing in the world.
[Image Description: Screen capture of item for sale in the Obama 2012 store: A $20 mug with an image of the president on one side, and an image of his birth certificate on the other. The product description reads: "There's really no way to make the birth certificate conspiracy completely go away, so we might as well laugh at it—and make sure as many people as possible are in on the joke. Get your Made in the USA mug today."]
LOL FOREVER. Well played, President Obama and Team. Well played indeed.
Related Reading: Obama at the White House Correspondents' Dinner.
[H/T to @bluegal.]
Friday, November 4, 2011
This is a real thing in the world.
Um. This is apparently an actual series of ads created by Ogilvy Atlanta for the Boy Scouts of America:
[Click to embiggen.]
Okay, there is a lot of stuff going on here—the equating of hairiness with masculinity, and a particular brand of "natural" masculinity, at that; the equating of hairiness with wildness; the substitution of "a brunette white kid, a redheaded white kid, and a blond white kid" for racial diversity; the aging of children to promote a group that has [trigger warning] an institutional problem with sex abuse—but, apart from (and in addition to) all of that, this shit is just fucking WEIRD.
[Via Copyranter.]
[Click to embiggen.]
Okay, there is a lot of stuff going on here—the equating of hairiness with masculinity, and a particular brand of "natural" masculinity, at that; the equating of hairiness with wildness; the substitution of "a brunette white kid, a redheaded white kid, and a blond white kid" for racial diversity; the aging of children to promote a group that has [trigger warning] an institutional problem with sex abuse—but, apart from (and in addition to) all of that, this shit is just fucking WEIRD.
[Via Copyranter.]
Friday, October 28, 2011
Herman Cain's Campaign is a Real Thing in the Real World
Herman Cain is making stuff on the interwebs. America, I give you the current Republican front-runner:
[Transcript Follows]
There's an opening sequence that suggests the projectionist is loading the YouTube video. A cowboy on a horse rides towards the camera to generic twangy music. On screen, we see that “THERE WAS A TIME IN AMERICA WHEN A MAN WAS A MAN... “ Then the video cuts to the sheriff taking some government-paid leave.
“AND A HORSE WAS A HORSE...” [Go to hell, postmodernist eurotrash!]
Then a deputy/government employee chugs whiskey. “AND A MAN ON A HORSE WAS JUST A MAN ON A HORSE...” We see that the cowboy is carrying yellow flowers, so that's probably a BFD. [This is just like Blazing Saddles, only if it had been directed by Andrew Breibart.]
A few taxpayers stroll by, disgusted by the lazy government workers.
“UNLESS HE CARRIED EXTRANEOUS COMMA BIG FONT FOR EMPHASIS YELLOW FLOWERS” [But not roses. And certainly not bread.]
Women scurry away from the cowboy, as he comments on their chicken. I think this is supposed to be sexy. Presumably there's some kind of joke here? I don't hang out in sports bars, so I don't really get the reference.
“Cock-a-doodle-do, Ma'am”
[Wow, this dude harasses women, but he's also a gentleman and holy non-sequitur what the hell is going on, we're forty-five seconds into this garbage already.]
“CTV [Isn't that Canadian?] PRESENTS: HE CARRIED YELLOW FLOWERS”
Cowboy ass shot.
Cowboy using rope shot.
Cowboy wearing moon boots while not really bow-legged shot.
The cowboy knocks on the door, because apparently having women scurry away from you is code for “Yes, please come into my cabin.”
The drunken sheriff mocks the man's gay looking flowers. Also, they are YELLOW flowers.
'Hey look at me, the Montana Territory is paying me to get pissed on my 3-hour lunch break!'
Daaaamn! One of the men accuses our hero of being “as yellow as those flowers there.”
Witty rejoinder: “Why does it always have to be about color, what are you guys, liberals?” [Did you notice one of the guys was black? Did you?!? He's such a reverse racist.]
The reverse-racist responds that he's a “card carrying” liberal [Hey, remember Dukakis?], and spits on our hero's moonboot.
A fight breaks out, and the opening chords of a Monkees song plays in the background for some reason.
In perhaps the video's most Brechtian moment, a Hollywood director in baggy pants yells cut, and everything stops.
A conventionally attractive young woman offers the cowboy a watermelon-mango margarita, because all actors are homos who sip fruity drinks like little girls. Because she's a lady, the dude gives her shit about wanting a straw. Then he threatens to fire her.
A woman praises the man and does his girly makeup, but he cuts the dumb bitch down to size.
As it turns out, the actor is Nick Searcy. [You know, the guy who played Tom Hanks's friend in Cast Away? No, not the volleyball.]
Nick Searcy levels with us. He's not a tough guy because he says catch phrases like “hope” and “change.” [Would those be catch words?] He also doesn't have a fancy teleprompter like those rich-ass community organizers, just fyi.
Then, over 140 seconds into this train wreck, Nick Searcy tells us about Herman Cain. He's a real thing in the real world. He urges us to “get real” and vote for Cain, as dudes beat each other up in the background.
Herman Cain and Nick Searcy are sexy, apparently. OMG IS THIS CAMPAIGN VIDEO HITTING ON ME?
Cowboy Searcy urges the public not to get distracted by trivial things this election season, all while joking with his Hollywood director. Then he gets so distracted while threatening a liberal that he forgets his line.
And then Herman Cain smirks at us for some reason. [Probably because he knows you aren't getting the last three-and-a-half minutes of your life back.]
As Cain fades out, Cowboy Searcy hits on a lady by yelling “nice chicken, honey!” Then he gives us a wink and a thumbs up as he goes into the cabin, presumably to have some sort of freaky Dadaist sex.
THE END
[Transcript Follows]
There's an opening sequence that suggests the projectionist is loading the YouTube video. A cowboy on a horse rides towards the camera to generic twangy music. On screen, we see that “THERE WAS A TIME IN AMERICA WHEN A MAN WAS A MAN... “ Then the video cuts to the sheriff taking some government-paid leave.
“AND A HORSE WAS A HORSE...” [Go to hell, postmodernist eurotrash!]
Then a deputy/government employee chugs whiskey. “AND A MAN ON A HORSE WAS JUST A MAN ON A HORSE...” We see that the cowboy is carrying yellow flowers, so that's probably a BFD. [This is just like Blazing Saddles, only if it had been directed by Andrew Breibart.]
A few taxpayers stroll by, disgusted by the lazy government workers.
“UNLESS HE CARRIED EXTRANEOUS COMMA BIG FONT FOR EMPHASIS YELLOW FLOWERS” [But not roses. And certainly not bread.]
Women scurry away from the cowboy, as he comments on their chicken. I think this is supposed to be sexy. Presumably there's some kind of joke here? I don't hang out in sports bars, so I don't really get the reference.
“Cock-a-doodle-do, Ma'am”
[Wow, this dude harasses women, but he's also a gentleman and holy non-sequitur what the hell is going on, we're forty-five seconds into this garbage already.]
“CTV [Isn't that Canadian?] PRESENTS: HE CARRIED YELLOW FLOWERS”
Cowboy ass shot.
Cowboy using rope shot.
Cowboy wearing moon boots while not really bow-legged shot.
The cowboy knocks on the door, because apparently having women scurry away from you is code for “Yes, please come into my cabin.”
The drunken sheriff mocks the man's gay looking flowers. Also, they are YELLOW flowers.
'Hey look at me, the Montana Territory is paying me to get pissed on my 3-hour lunch break!'
Daaaamn! One of the men accuses our hero of being “as yellow as those flowers there.”
Witty rejoinder: “Why does it always have to be about color, what are you guys, liberals?” [Did you notice one of the guys was black? Did you?!? He's such a reverse racist.]
The reverse-racist responds that he's a “card carrying” liberal [Hey, remember Dukakis?], and spits on our hero's moonboot.
A fight breaks out, and the opening chords of a Monkees song plays in the background for some reason.
In perhaps the video's most Brechtian moment, a Hollywood director in baggy pants yells cut, and everything stops.
A conventionally attractive young woman offers the cowboy a watermelon-mango margarita, because all actors are homos who sip fruity drinks like little girls. Because she's a lady, the dude gives her shit about wanting a straw. Then he threatens to fire her.
A woman praises the man and does his girly makeup, but he cuts the dumb bitch down to size.
As it turns out, the actor is Nick Searcy. [You know, the guy who played Tom Hanks's friend in Cast Away? No, not the volleyball.]
Nick Searcy levels with us. He's not a tough guy because he says catch phrases like “hope” and “change.” [Would those be catch words?] He also doesn't have a fancy teleprompter like those rich-ass community organizers, just fyi.
Then, over 140 seconds into this train wreck, Nick Searcy tells us about Herman Cain. He's a real thing in the real world. He urges us to “get real” and vote for Cain, as dudes beat each other up in the background.
Herman Cain and Nick Searcy are sexy, apparently. OMG IS THIS CAMPAIGN VIDEO HITTING ON ME?
Cowboy Searcy urges the public not to get distracted by trivial things this election season, all while joking with his Hollywood director. Then he gets so distracted while threatening a liberal that he forgets his line.
And then Herman Cain smirks at us for some reason. [Probably because he knows you aren't getting the last three-and-a-half minutes of your life back.]
As Cain fades out, Cowboy Searcy hits on a lady by yelling “nice chicken, honey!” Then he gives us a wink and a thumbs up as he goes into the cabin, presumably to have some sort of freaky Dadaist sex.
THE END
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
This is a real thing in the world.
Wahlburgers. A restaurant/cafe in Hingham, Massachusetts, at which you can "enjoy fresh ground beef burgers made to order, hot dogs, frappes, rock tunes and more!" Owned and operated by the Wahlberg brothers: Actors/singers/producers Mark and Donnie Wahlberg and chef Paul Wahlberg.
When Kenny Blogginz told me about this last night, I thought he was kidding.
True Fact: I attended not one, not two, but FIVE New Kids on the Block concerts back in the day, and I know all the back-up dancer choreography from Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch's "Good Vibrations" video, because no doy who doesn't, amirite?
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